Mark Teixeira Live News Conference

Yawn. Just another day as a Yankee fan. Today, in about 31 minutes, the Yankees will be introducing their first baseman for the next eight years. Price tag: $180 million. Seems like a bargain. After New York acquired both Sabathia and Burnett via trade, I thought there was no way they could even attempt signing Teixeira. Both its official, the Yankees have no budget. Which I’m happy about. I enjoy watching my team win. Anyway, I’ll be live blogging the news event because I have nothing else to do. My spring semester begins next Monday, so I have some time to kill. Let’s do this.

1:00-Watching Michael Kay in HD is down right frightening. The man has one of the biggest noggin’s in the business. No wonder he didn’t ever play baseball. They didn’t have a hat big enough.

1:02-Boras sighting. It’s easy to spot him on the dais, he’s the one choking a puppy.

1:05-They must keep Hank locked up during these press conferences. God knows what he would say if he got behind that podium. “Thank you Mark for being here, those Red Sox can suck my dick. Thank You.”

1:09-The pressure is clearly on Girardi. Didn’t make the playoffs last year. Three new high priced free agents. New York City. He must wear a diaper 24/7.

1:10-He’s wearing number 25. You’re telling me Giambi isn’t coming back?! No!!!!

1:14-Mark looks good in pinstripes. Well, everyone looks good in pinstripes. Except Carl Pavano, Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown, Kei Igawa, and many others.

1:19-Ooo! Cashman gave Mark a mix tape. No wonder he signed with the Yanks.

1:22-Well that concludes the “formal” portion of the press conference. Now begins about 600 interviews for Teixeira. He just might earn that $180 million today.

1:27-For a major signing, this conference/interview is really boring. Maybe because I’m used to it. This is the second one of these this offseason. I guess the Yanks need to sign Pujols for me to be interested.

1:30-The answer to the question of where should Teixeira hit, it’s fourth. No discussion. Arod needs as much protection as he can get. The way to offset a mental case is to put a stable player behind him. Lord knows Arod wants a player like Teixeira behind him. (double entendre intended)

1:33-Hal Steinbrenner is the most defensive owner in sports. He’s like a little kid. “C’mon, we wanted Mark. He’s really good and we have money. Shut up. He’s really cool and awesome. Leave me alone.”

1:38-Where the hell does Randy Levine vacation? The sun? The man is a shade of red found only on tomatoes.

1:42-Big fan of Leigh Teixeira. Cute, southern. And she could probably play first better than Giambi.

Alright that’s enough. I don’t want to hear about baseball until pitchers and catchers report. Until then it’s NFL playoffs, college basketball, and maybe a little NBA. Who knows?

At first for the Yankees…

Me!

Signed an 8 year, $180 million contract. Oh My Yankees!

Winter Hot Stove Meetings?

For me, baseball’s offseason does not officially start until the winter meetings. The winter meetings is where all the general managers, agents, reporters, analysts, Peter Gammons’s, and etc. go down to a hot, sexy, touristy spot and make ridiculous trades and signings while under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I kid about the last part, but I’m sure plenty a deal was made under those exact circumstances.

This year are meetings are going to be held between December 8th and the 11th  in Las Vegas, Nevada. Because when I think baseball, I think Las Vegas, Nevada. Don’t be suprised to hear a bunch of retarded puns and analogies from ESPN relating a risky deal to the fact that there is legalized gambling in Las Vegas. “He really ROLLED THE DICE on that signing, right Karl?” “He just went ALL IN on that deal.” It will be frustrating, but we’ll all get through it.

So far in this offseason for the best sport in America (That’s right, I said it), nothing has really happened. Javier Vasquez went to the Braves. Boring. So he’ll not live up to expectations somewhere else, big deal. Edgar Renteria signs with the Giants. What is this, his tenth team in three years? Another stellar signing by the Giants. They really know how to pick them. Bonds kept them relevant for the years he was there, now, sometimes I forget they’re even a franchise. Come back to New York, Giants, there’s plenty of room. And besides, it would be awesome to have two New York Giant franchises again.

But now, the meetings are upon us. A time where small market franchises feel they NEED to make a big splash to be considered important. Even if it means signing A.J. Burnett to a ten year deal. But let me go through some of the more important free agents and make my predictions on where they will sign. Lets do this, shall we?

Still fat

CC Sabathia
It feels like a few months ago when the Yankees offered Sabathia a six-year, $140 million contract. Because, I’m pretty sure it was a few months ago. He has remained silent on whether he will take the deal. The rumor has been that he wants to A) stay on the west coast and B) stay in the national league. Two very reasonable requests. But CC, think this through, please. It’s $140 million. No team is going to touch that offer. Are you really going to sacrifice 20 to 30 million just for a few at-bats and a few days at the beach? Hell, for $140 million, I would play in Calcutta. From my point of view, he’s waiting it out for no reason. Teams have bluffed monetary interest to him over the past few weeks, but none have made good. So far, there are two offers, the Brewers and the Yankees. I would be shocked if he isn’t in pinstripes come spring training. The MLBPA won’t let him NOT take it. If he accepts, he sets the standard for ace pitchers in the future, and that is a good thing for the union. The players assocation might have to “make it worth his while”, but someone better start knitting him a Yankees jersey.
2009 Team: Yankees

You don't have to read if you're an athlete.

Mark Teixeira
Word on the street is that he enjoys money. Like the rest of us. It’s just that, unlike CC, he doesn’t care where he plays, just as long as that team gives him the most sacks of money. I got nothing against that, seems like a normal guy trying to get what he deserves. And lets face it, he is in probably the best position for a free agent in the history on the sport. Let me break it down. He will be 29 years old on opening day 2009. He is a corner infielder who hits for average, gets on base, drives in runs, and switch hits. He is a gold glove first baseman. And lest we forget, his agent is, drumroll please…Sata….I mean Scott Boras. If anyone can have a homeless guy give HIM money, it’s Mr. Boras. God knows what kind of currency he get squeeze out of these teams fighting for Teixeira’s services. He might ask for 25 mil a year for 10 years in EUROS. But who is going to doll out the dough for Marky Mark. Angels? Red Sox? Yankees? Orioles? Nationals? That Nationals rumor is hilarious. But at the same time, I guess that’s what you got to do in order to get the ball rolling as a franchise. If the Yankees get CC, they are not touching Teixeira. Even for them that’s too much money to sign over in one offseason. My thoughts are leaning towards the Sox. Papi is not what he used to be and Lowell can easily become expendable if Teixeira is signed. They have the money, the appeal, and the need.
2009 Team: Red Sox

I'll get hurt in a few minutes

 A.J. Burnett
There is not a pitcher, no, player in professional sports that I trust less that A.J. Burnett. I guess it’s because he only has good seasons in walk years. Maybe it’s because he’s a malcontent. Or maybe it’s because he sucks. Yeah, that’s it. He sucks. Since the season ended, all I’ve heard is, “But he’s got great STUFF”. What the hell is stuff? I have stuff too. A lot of it. But I’m not being paid millions. So what if he occasionally can throw 98 MPH, or that he has a terrific curveball. Does he perform consistently? Absolutely not. “STUFF” is not worth the money he is going to be paid this offseason. I’d rather take Mike Mussina for another 5 years than A.J. Burnett for the next two. Because you know exactly what you are getting with Mussina. Consistency. Not erractic pitching, and anti-social behavior (well, maybe). I was so happy to find out the Yanks were losing interest in this guy. The last thing New York needs is another Carl Pavano, Kevin Brown, Randy Johnson, or Hideki Irabu. Well, the Braves have offered Burnett a 4-year, $60 million offer. Accept AJ! Take it and Run! Get yourself off the market before the Yanks get interested again!
2009 Team: Braves (God willing)

More to come…

Mussina calls it quits.

I’ve never had anything against Mike Mussina. I guess I’ve always represented him with the demise of the Yankees dynasty. He signed an eight year deal with the Yankees back in 2001. And Game 7 of that year’s Fall Classic isn’t one of my favorite Yankee moments. Since 2001, the Yankees have been to the playoffs seven times, and the World Series twice, but haven’t sealed the deal. And although Mussina is one of the only pitchers in the history of the free agent era to live up to an eight year deal. He was reliable, durable, and successful in pinstripes.

We can only hope for Sabathia to be the same way for the Yanks. Because, let’s face it, he’s coming to New York. The players association won’t allow him to turn that offer down. Donald Fehr will pistol whip CC if he has to. No team is coming close to that offer either. Omar Minaya made some passing remark about how they are going after him also. But as soon as Minaya realizes that Sabathia isn’t latino, his interest will diminish quickly.

As far as Teixeira goes. Look, I would love to have him. I’m sure every Yankee fan would love to have him. After 7 years of steroid using admissions, sub-par fielding, and mustache growing, the fans are looking for something a little more legitimate on first base. And Teixeira is it. Hits for power. Hits for average. Gets on base. Gold glove fielder. Great teammate. And is just a really cool dude and I hope we could hang out some time.