Week 6 Picks

I skipped last weeks picks because my head was buried in a Managerial Accounting textbook. A textbook, by the way, that cost $235. Nothing, which utility is sitting on a shelf 99% of the time, should cost $235. And while studying for my accounting test, I found that a majority of the material I needed to do well, was online or in my notes. So I basically put $235 in a trash can and lit it on fire.

Bears over Falcons

Texans over Dolphins

Colts over Ravens

Lions over Vikings

Saints over Raiders

Jets over Bengals

Panthers over Buccaneers

Redskins over Rams

Broncos over Jaguars

Cowboys over Cardinals

Eagles over 49ers

Packers over Seahawks

Chargers over Patriots

Giants over Browns

Side Note: To illustrate how small the world really is, the Cincinnati Bengals have a starting quarterback named Carson Palmer. Currently, he won’t start this week, but that’s besides the point. The Bengals also have a third-string quarterback, and his names is Jordan Palmer. That’s right, they’re brothers. Two brothers, by blood, playing the same position for the same team. That’s like the Molina brothers (Jose and Bengie) both playing for the Angels in 2002. And a subsequent third brother, Yadier, who plays and won a World Series for the 2006 Cardinals. Three brothers, playing the same position, same sport, and all have World Series’ rings. The Manning brothers would have a similar distinction is Cooper would get up off his ass and throw the pigskin around for once.

2006 Super Bowl Champion

 

2007 Super Bowl Champion

 

Worthless

Say ‘Hi’ to your mother for me, okay?

Pittsburgh 26, Jacksonville 21
How many times will Ben Roethlisberger be destroyed by an opposing teams’ defensive line until he turns to dust? It seems like he’s on his ass after EVERY play. Yet, Pittsburgh continue’s to win. I’ve never seen a more beat up 4-1 team. Parker: out. Mendenhall: broken in half. Roethlisberger: gets motorcycle flashbacks during every pass rush. I can see them winning their division considering how awful it is. But Roethlisberger might not have short term memory in time for the playoffs.

Chicago 34, Detroit 7
Oh what a way to begin the Matt Millenless era. They made Kyle Orton look like how the Lions must have seen Joey Harrington when they drafted him. Confused? Should be. ‘Honor Du-al’ Brian Urlacher could’ve been out there and still would’ve had 4 tackles. It’s a shame the Lions can’t choose an entire defense in the draft. Would be cool if you could. I’d take Auburn’s.

Atlanta 27, Green Bay 24
Even Packer fans can’t blame Rodgers for this one. Who knew that all Atlanta needed to do was take Michael Vick’s skills and separate them into two players. See: Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. The Falcons were supposed to be the laughing stock of the NFL. Rookie coach, rookie QB, first year starting RB, franchise player in prison, ugly stadium. Didn’t add up. They’re 3-2. 3-2! They were supposed to be so bad, at this point, people had them at 0-7.

New York 44, Seattle 6
The Giants demonstrate that they are currently the best team in the NFL. It seems like they have more players on offense than the opponent’s defense. But the key to their success is their offensive line. I’m pretty sure Manning hasn’t been grazed by a DE this entire year. The line gives him 15-20 seconds per play to find one of his 34 receivers. Seattle lost before the coin toss.

Dallas 31, Cincinnati 22
That entire game, the Cowboys were begging to lose. Romo continued to cough the ball up so he could get to the sideline a put his hat on backwards to show how cool he is. It’s funny to watch Wade Phillips face light up every time Dallas scores. It’s similar to when you show a toddler a magic trick. And Carson Palmer might just have a mental breakdown on the field before the end of the year.

Headlines…

Lane Kiffin in talks to replace Lane Kiffin as head coach
I think this will be good for Kiffin. This sabbatical from high school has gone on long enough.

Bengals’ WR Chris Henry cleared to practice
Don’t worry Bengal fan, there’s hope. Oh…he’s the WR, not the RB for the Titans? Nevermind.

Detroit Shock defeat New York Liberty to advance to WNBA Finals
In other news, I am having a tuna sandwich for lunch.

Twins at White Sox (7:05 TBS)
Hopefully we get a game like Padres/Rockies from last year. And if we do, hopefully Instant replay is used. Just so you know, Matt Holliday still hasn’t touched home plate.