I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been really busy. You know. Doing stuff. Work. Eating. Sleeping. Things like that. Anywho, I think I’ll do a Yankees/Rays Live Blog. The Yanks are 8.5 games back of the Rays in the division. I knew Tampa Bay would be good this year, just not this good. Everyone on the team is overacheiving. It’s really annoying. Anyway…
7:08-Akinori Iwamura grounds out to first. 1 pitch, 1 out.
7:08-Fly out to Gardner. 2 pitches. 2 out.
7:09-Upton takes a strike. I’ve never seen three pitches, three outs.
7:11-The Yanks need to take this two game series. Although I don’t think this is their year, but if they want to be competitive, it starts here.
7:12-What I’m listening to now: Lupe Fiasco (Superstar). Old song, but I could listen to it all day.
7:13-Kazmir starting tonight. As the old saying goes, “Everytime Kazmir strikes a batter out, a Met fan throws another one down.”
7:15-Melky throws the bats into the stands. Apparently he didn’t like one of the fans. Guy got hit right in the eye.
7:15-Melky has hit the proverbial wall. Actually, this is like his third wall. He looks overmatched most of the time. The holes in his swing are glaring.
7:18-Jeter stares at a called third strike. He did his ass stick out thing to make it look like it was inside, so it was cool.
7:23-Eva Longoria strikes out. “Go back to Tony Parker you punk!”
7:24-I don’t get the whole “Rays” thing. I know they don’t want to be known as the Devil Rays. On their left sleeves they have the sting ray, yet on the front of the shirt, there is a sun. As in “sun rays.” I’m lost. I would of been fine with Tampa Bay Sun Devil Rays. Sounds sweet.
7:27-A-rod truly lives up to the Bob Uecker quote in Major League 2: “I don’t know how this guy pays attention to baseball with the paternity suits in all.” I’m sure he’s happy about all of this. He never wanted to be married. He’s a selfish guy. After this debacle is over, he’ll have more quality time with himself.
7:31-Posada strikes out. Now I think all of the Yankees have dinner reservations.
7:32-Betemit strikes out swinging.
7:34-Jeter has an edge. And by edge, I mean Edge, as in the car. Otherwise, he doesn’t have an edge. People say Jeter is a boring quote. That is an understatement. He could be the most boring human being who has ever lived. Try to read or watch an interview with him. You’ll wake up a few days later. In an interview he was asked a few stupid questions about what he likes. One of the questions was, “What is your favorite television show?” Response: “I don’t really watch a lot of TV.” Another: “What’s your ringtone?” Response: “My phone’s on vibrate.” Holy crap Jeter! Humor the guy. Say “The Office” or “The Macarena”. I’m legitimately convinced Jeter is unable to be witty, sarcastic, or ironic. It’s as if God said “I’m going to give you unbelievable athleticism, fame, money, good fortune, and women. But you will not have a personality.”
7:34-Johnny Gomes is batting .191. As mostly a DH! Currently on the best team in baseball! What the hell is wrong with the Rays. This is why they will not make the playoffs. Because of Johnny Gomes.
7:43-Longoria is trying to “out facial hair” Giambi for the last spot on the AL All Star Team. He’s got a beard now.
7:45-My boy, Brett Gardner’s up. 2nd and 3rd, no out.
7:47-Strike three.
7:49-Two out. Cabrera has truly regressed to a little leaguer. He swings at pitches over his head. He doesn’t keep his eye on the ball. He sits down in the outfield. He’s too worried about his free snowcone after the game.
7:52-Jeter bails Cabrera out. Two run double. Gomes misses the cut off man. Quite the stud.
8:01-Pettitte’s dealing. We’re going to need him the rest of the way. And by “we” I mean the Yankees. I’m part of the team. I should be on the payroll.
8:07-Sidney “The Double Chin” Ponson pitching tomorrow for the Yanks. To call him an athlete is like calling Bartolo Colon an athlete.
8:10-Eight strikeouts in 3.2 so far. That means: 11 outs. 8 of them K’s.
8:21-My boy, Johnny Gomes strikes out looking. I could miss cut off men and not swing at pitches for the league minimum. Seriously, I would do it.
8:27-Gardner bunts for a sacrifice. Ends up on first. He runs like a young Brett Butler.
8:28-Molina just arrived at second.
8:32-Cabrera strikes out for a third time. He’s looking for the Platinum Sombrero.
8:36-Jeter grounds into an inning ending double play.
8:43-Price of crude oil has gone down. Thanks Fox Business!
8:49-How many catchers can hit like Posada? Mauer, Soto. That’s it. He’s incredible. Borderline Hall of Famer.
9:01-Things are getting interesting. Upton at second. 1 out. Full count to Eva.
9:02-Strike three!
9:06-Incredible play by Jeter. As much as I bash him for being a sub par infielder. He makes the plays most do not make.
9:09-Sabathia pitching well for the Brewers in his debut. Talk about a rental. If the Brewers want to contend this season, great move. They got the A.L. Cy Young Winner for 2 and a half months at the top of his game. The better he plays, the bigger the payday when the season is over.
9:36-I’m back. Melky hit a homer apparently. Avoids the sombrero.
9:39-4-0 Yanks. Mo sits down. Nice day at the office. “Hey Mo, how was work?” “Great, I got up, stretched, and sat down.”
9:46-Yanks are up by 5 going into the ninth. I’m hitting the hay, I’ll be back tomorrow.
